Infidelity is no laughing matter. The reality is, it happens and most people either don’t know or completely ignore the signs of a cheating spouse.
You deserve to know the truth about your partner and whether or not they remain faithful to you. After all, it’s difficult for any marriage to survive on deception and lies.
Think your spouse is cheating? Here are 10 signs to look out for to help you prove your suspicions are correct.
1. Password Protected
In this day and age, a large majority of the population in North America has a personal smart phone. It’s the perfect tool to send emails, engage on social media, or text and call friends and family. When it comes to cheating spouses however, cell phones often become a tool they use to manage their infidelity—and keep it hidden from their spouse.
If your spouse has suddenly added a password to their phone, refuses to give you their password, gets upset when you touch their phone, or acts oddly when they receive a text message, there is a possibility that they are cheating. People who have nothing to hide don’t care if their spouse knows their password, nor do they care if their phone is unattended while at home.
2. Gone Missing
When your spouse tells you that they’re out with friends, need to work late, or even attend a conference in another city; do they disappear for long periods of time? We don’t mean disappear in the sense that you need to file a police report, just that for hours at a time, you aren’t able to reach your spouse and they aren’t responding to any of your calls or messages.
If this is something you’ve noticed about your spouse, there might be something more going on. Cheating spouses tend to have what is commonly known as a ‘blackout period’. What this means is that your spouse is unreachable, even when they should be reachable.
Now, we’re not saying that if your spouse is at work and in meetings all day that they are cheating on you. They could very well be in meetings all day! It’s when your spouse tells you that they will be working late on a project, but aren’t in the office when you call that you should start asking questions.
3. New Credit Card or Bank Account
Many married couples share bank accounts. However, not all married couples do, and this is perfectly fine! Regardless of how your finances are set up, if you find evidence that your spouse has a bank account that they have never mentioned before (and especially if you already have a joint account) this could be a sign that they are cheating.
Many cheating spouses use secret bank accounts to manage money that they can spend without their partner knowing. They use this money to buy gifts, take their lover out to a restaurant, or even spend time in a completely different city.
In these cases, uncovering evidence of a hidden bank account is sometimes tricky to do on your own. This is why many people hire a private investigator or a private investigation company to help. In these types of infidelity cases, private investigators will conduct something called, an asset search. Asset searches help to uncover any money in any bank accounts your spouse might have opened to support their cheating habits.
4. Gift Giving
Many people who are unfaithful within their marriage will start to give their spouse lots of gifts. On the flip side, many people will find gifts hidden around the house, but never receive them. In both cases, gifts are one of the signs that your spouse might be cheating.
Most cheaters feel guilty about their infidelity, and so they overcompensate by buying their spouse presents. For some reason, they feel that the gift will make up for their unfaithfulness. If your spouse is suddenly showering you with presents, when they’ve never done so before, this could be a red flag.
If you find gifts hidden away in the house, or even the car, don’t panic. They could be for you! However, if your spouse never presents you with the gift, or mentions buying the gift for someone, you might want to start asking questions.
5. The Romance is Gone
If your spouse has suddenly lost interest in going out on dates, or even in the more intimate elements to marriage, it’s something you really shouldn’t ignore. It could mean that they are getting all of the romance they need from someone else.
6. Changes in Appearance
Has your spouse always worn one thing, and then all of a sudden has started to change their style or buy new clothes?
While in most cases, your spouse might just be looking for a change, there could also be a chance that they are unfaithful. Many cheating spouses start to dress differently to impress the other person they are seeing, or even to attract potential dates. If you notice that your spouse won’t dress up for you when you go out on a date, but they’re suddenly very interested in looking good while they’re heading out for groceries, this could be a sign of infidelity.
7. Shifts in Work Schedule
Work life is the one part of your spouse’s day that you aren’t really involved in, and that’s okay! You’ve got your own job too. However, if your spouse suddenly starts spending more and more time at the office, it could be cause for concern.
Changes in work schedule often mean nothing, so it’s important to think about your spouse’s past behavior. Maybe it’s only certain times of the year that they need to put in more hours. Maybe their boss really does want them to take more leadership roles within the company. These are all great things for your spouse and shouldn’t come as a shock or surprise.
It’s when your spouse starts to avoid going on a date with you, or leaving for work much earlier than they used to and their explanations just don’t seem to add up. These are the signs you need to look out for when it comes to a cheating spouse.
8. Picking Fights
Does your spouse seem short tempered lately? Do they always seem like they’re just picking a fight no matter what you say?
Many cheating spouses are unhappy in their current relationship and use it as an excuse to prove that the marriage is falling apart. Picking a fight is also a defense mechanism. They know what they’re doing is wrong, and so they try to shift the blame and focus to you.
9. Suspicious Items
Did you find lipstick stains on your spouse’s collar? Oh, and here’s a classic . . . Have you found any underwear in your car or bedroom that isn’t yours?
In general, most people aren’t careful about where they leave their personal belongings. This is why if you find any item that doesn’t belong to you, don’t second-guess yourself. For example, why would your spouse gift you a used lipstick and then hide it under the driver’s seat? If the reason just doesn’t make sense, you’ll know you’ve got a cheater on your hands.
10. Receipts and Withdrawals
This type of paper trail is one of the biggest cheating spouse signs. Any time you go to the bank and withdraw money, you get a slip of paper that tells you how much you took out, and how much you’ve got left in your account. If you start to find these slips of paper in your spouse’s pockets, or just lying around the house, it could mean that they’re spending money on someone who isn’t you.
What Can You Do?
Overall, these 10 signs really boil down to one thing: trust your gut. If you really, truly believe that your spouse is cheating on you, chances are, you’re right. But how can you find the proof that you need to confront your spouse about their infidelity?
Overall, noting down the signs you experience is a great place to start. However, contacting a personal private investigator or a private investigation agency is one of the best ways to find out for sure if your spouse is a cheater. Private investigators can use surveillance, asset search, interviews, and many other techniques to help you uncover the truth.
At the end of the day, they will provide you with the hard evidence, or clarification that you need to deal with the issue head on.
About the Author
Whitney Joy Smith
Founder of The Smith Investigation Agency in 2014, Whitney Joy Smith’s extensive background as a private investigator is matched only by her passion for the role. A graduate of several respected institutions, including Northwest Florida State College and George Brown College, her early years in life were spent between Canada and the United States. This education, along with her formative years as a private investigator in various agencies, informed much of her knowledge of private investigative laws, regulations, and operating standards in both countries.
The recipient of numerous industry awards and accolades, including the Consumers Choice Award, Best in Ottawa, and many others, Whitney takes pride in working closely with her ever-growing agency to raise the bar, maintain compliance, and meet the investigative needs of clients. Whitney is active in various membership and supporting roles, including the CPIRC, CBN, CAPI, Canadian Women’s Chamber of Commerce, and many others. Her experience-driven, thought-provoking articles have been featured in everything from Readers Digest to Business News Daily, and she strives to continually redefine standards for those in the private investigative and security fields. Learn more about Whitney and the team at The Smith Investigation Agency today.
